Everything happens for a reason... work hard then let fate step in.

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Some people will believe this too. Others will adamantly believe that that is bullshit. But it is something I believe and something I have been dwelling on lately.

In terms of beliefs, me and my boyfriend are, in some respects, polar opposites. Don’t get me wrong, in some ways, we have a lot in common. Like, we both think religion is ridiculous, we both believe there is no monotheistic god figure. However, he is atheist not just in terms of religion, but in terms of ideas concerning spirituality such as horoscopes. He believes horoscopes are bullshit as are tarots, palm-reading, and other forms of fortune telling. I however, while accepting of course some people are frauds who just want your money, do believe in these things. Because while I don’t believe in God, I do believe in magic. Not in a Harry Potter, everyone is waving a magic wand way (god i wish, massive HP fan up in here), but in a more direct way, which interferes with our lives. Not everything is black and white. Not everything is determined by cold, hard science. There is grey matter. Shit happens. Bad luck comes along. But good stuff happens too.

Having said all that, I do not believe in sitting back and waiting for the good times to roll. Unless you are extremely lucky, or rich, you can’t get the good from sitting back and doing nothing. If you want something you have to get up, and work really fucking hard for it. Of course you do. But at the end of it all you can only do so much, and then fate steps in.

Sometimes we here bad news, or we don’t get what we want, not straight away anyway. But even though it’s hard to see it right then, I believe this stuff happens to make room for the good things, whatever that might be. Recently someone told me of how when they graduated they got a shitty little admin job for a company that sold photocopiers. Not exactly ideal. She then got a job at a local newspaper, when she found out, after doing the death-knock one day, that she wasn’t cut out to be a journalist. That person now works for PR for The Guardian. Without that little admin job, she would not have got her journalism job. And without that journalism job, she wouldn’t have got her job at The Guardian. The things which may have seemed like bumps in the road are what have got her to her overall destination today.

Work hard, and follow your dreams. Don’t be afraid to do this. Don’t hope that it will work out if you aren’t doing anything. Work your absolute hardest, but remember at the end of it, the hardest is all you can do. And if you did that, you can’t blame yourself if it doesn’t work out the way you planned. Like I said, you work hard, you make the best of what you’ve got, and then fate steps in.

In this day and age, we love a good plan. I know I do. I especially enjoy lists. To do lists. shopping lists. Lists of lists. I always plan essays when I write them, whether they are in exams or not. I’m not organised naturally, so I like to wake up when I’m busy and have a rough idea of what I’m going to do that day and how I will construct that. Plans are good from time to time, but our obsession with plans, and being organised individuals sometimes goes too far. Because no matter how hard you try, you can’t plan life. Like I said, I like to know what I want to do from day to day, but things change, the days go too quickly, you made a commitment you forgot about, life steps in and says ‘STFU I’m taking over now, and there is nothing you can do about it’. You literally have no idea what is going to happen in the future. You have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow. This is scary. This is exciting. It’s nice to have a little idea of where you want to go, but remember that that plan, will always remain a draft, and that is the best way for it to be, because when life comes along and tears up that draft, it will remind you of what life is really about. It’s not about knowing. It is about not knowing. It is about that moment when you have done all you can do and you have to let go and let fate take over. It is about that grey matter. It is the reason that it all happens for.

Plus, doesn’t a 5 year plan just sound really f*cking boring to you? 

'how did you afford that?!'

Everyone has questions that do their head in, that they get asked way too much, and they feel step over some sort of line. Anyone reading this who has a tattoo will know that feeling (no, I actually don't want to answer, for the 100th time, why I chose to get this particular tat, on this particular part of my body). It is annoying having to answer repeated questions, especially when it feels like you are being forced to justify yourself, or go in to territory you would rather not discuss.

Asking people about their financial situations in a social conversation is generally considered a massive no-no, no matter who you are or where you are from, yet, people still often feel the need to ask questions concerning how much money you have, how you can afford stuff, why you can't afford stuff, etc, etc. And usually, we don't want to answer. Especially when those answers concern deeper issues that aren't always to do with finances. Sometimes people can ask a question totally innocently, without knowing what they really are asking.

When I tell people that after uni I want to go travelling, and after that I want to do a masters, people often ask me how I will afford it. If I were in an interview for a masters course, I could understand this. But it is usually just in a social conversation. The answer to how I can afford it is touchy, it's something I don't like discussing, so it's a bit ironic I'm writing a blog post on it. But sometimes the things that are hardest to discuss are the things that, as a writer, need to be written about. I won't go in to details, but unfortunately, a few years ago I lost someone very close to me. I was left with all of the inheritance money. And that is how I can afford to do a masters (if I get on to one!), and how I will be able to put a deposit on a house years before many of my peers will be doing the same. People will similarly wonder why I have a nice, new, fiat 500, which I got before I even passed my test, when I was still 17. And the reason is the same. People who don't know me closely will presume that I am rich, or spoilt, or both, but in actual fact, this is quite far from the truth. When I'm not at uni, I live comfortably. But we are not rich. And while my mum and step-dad will treat me sometimes, it's not something I ever take for granted.

The truth is, despite this, I am still skint!! This inheritance money is something I can not touch, unless I go to great efforts to do so. It is there for important investments. Not for flitting on clothes in topshop. I am still like every other jobless student, living off the minimum student loan, consistently and considerably dipping into my overdraft, and trying to balance the temptations of going on nights out and buying new clothes with the need to err, eat, or pay the bills. I am still a poor student trying to save money, always looking out for what is cheapest or what deals are going. I just also happen to be in a situation where I can fund my own future, for the most part.

Some people might view this as luck. I don't. I don't think gaining money from losing someone close to you can ever be considered lucky. So why am I writing this? Some might view it as a form of attention seeking, but I see it as the opposite. I am fed up with people making presumptions, about any aspect of my life. I am fed up with people asking questions about things that are quite frankly, personal, and difficult to answer. Writing this is sort of like a release of those frustrations. I am writing this for me as much as I am for anyone else, whether that be someone who also feels the frustrations of being constantly asked personal questions, or someone who is guilty of doing the asking. And next time someone asks me how I afforded my fiat, I think I'll just point them to the direction of this blog post. 

my humble opinion on Margaret Thatchers Death.

So this is a slightly different post from what I normally write on my blog, but it is something I felt the need to write about.

It has been well over a week now since the news of Margaret Thatchers death, and a few days since her funeral, so you may be wondering why I am writing about this now? Well for starters, the last week, in terms of Margaret Thatchers death, whether we are talking about news reports or the feisty opinions demonstrated across all social media platforms, has been overwhelming. This blog post isn't about Margaret Thatcher. It's about her death, the reactions to it, the reactions to the reactions to it, her funeral, the reactions to it, you get the picture. It's about stuff which I have had an opinion on, because who hasn't right? And now that everyone is taking the time to breathe and move on to the next newsworthy story to get riled up about, I have the chance to air my view. Which to be honest, is rather boring. Why is it boring? Because it's so bloody balanced, that's why. 
When news of Margaret Thatchers death hit, what overwhelmed me was not simply the reactions to it, which varied to the extremes, but the reactions to those reactions. It annoyed me that people were condemning people who had a negative opinion of Margaret Thatcher and were using her death as an opportunity to voice their opinion, which I believe is totally right and justified. People would say that you should 'have respect, no matter what you're opinion is', and that you should 'not speak ill of the dead'. I read an interesting Guardian article which voiced my own opinions to a T, and in a much more articulate way than I ever could. You can read the article here, but the gist of it was simply that no, you should not speak ill of the dead, if it is a personal affair. In terms of this death, if you are close to family or friends, are in the inner circles, it may be regarded as rude to the family. But when it is simply the public, speaking out about an opinion of a public figure, well, the whole not speaking ill of the dead saying just does not sit comfortably with me. To be honest, I'd rather people criticise me when I'm dead than when I'm alive. If we can not be given the opportunity to voice our views about somebody who was a controversial figure, and did affect many people's lives, whether directly or indirectly, whether for better or for worse, than we need to question our own autonomy. Our own democracy. Having said that, I've got to admit that the parties are extremely controversial, and I personally wouldn't be attending one. For starters, i don't feel I know enough about the issues. I know that Margaret Thatcher privatised everything, ruining peoples chances for education and taking jobs away, leaving families destitute. I know she helped the rich get richer as the poor got poorer. I do not know a lot else. Everyone has an opinion on her death and the reaction to it, but I don't see how I can comment on something I don't fully understand. I don't see how anyone can.
What I do understand however, is the present. And in the present, we get the message loud and clear from all angles in the U.K that money is tight. Cut's are here, there and everywhere. Cut's to wages, cut's to employment opportunities, the controversial new cut's to benefits (again, the Conservative government fail to support the poor and destitute in our country), so why the (insert explicit here) was 10 million, 10 MILLION, spent on Maggies funeral? The state funeral that she didn't even want? I mean, if we are gonna respect the dead like we are told to, at least abide their wishes for their own funeral right? Well, this was ignored, Thatcher got a state funeral anyway. A state funeral which cost a shed load of money, as £11.4 million is taken in an 'unavoidable cut' from the arts council, which in my opinion, is much more worthy of the money. What is quite funny though is, as my boyfriend pointed out, it is the ultimate irony that Margaret Thatcher, the privatisation queen if you like, got a state funeral. 
Another talking point has been about Margaret's gender. Anyone who knows me will know that I am an ardent feminist, to the point that I believe women who say they aren't feminists are liars and I believe that anyone who claims women already have equality is talking bull. So my opinion that actually, the fact Thatcher was a woman has nothing to do with the feisty reactions, has nothing to do with it. Grazia published an article this week about the very topic. I tweeted that 'this is the once case where gender has nothing to do with it' and that it is her policies that people react to. I stand by that. I totally believe the reactions would be the same if Thatcher was a man. She still would have been hugely controversial, and a hate figure for many. 
To be honest, like I said at the beginning of this post, my opinion is pretty balanced. I don't hate Thatcher, but I definitely don't love her. I admire the fact that she wouldn't stop at anything, that she fought the odds and became the first female PM. I admire that she didn't believe in luck, but instead, in hard work and determination paying off. I admire that she would sit in a room with 20 odd men and still maintain her arguments. However, I hated the fact that despite getting to the top as a woman, which is an amazing feat, she didn't help other women in to politics, a problem which remains in 2013, and that she didn't consider herself a feminist in the slightest.

Gig review: Don Broco at Koko 18/04/13

On Thursday night me and Chris ventured to London to see Don Broco. I missed out on the chance of getting a ticket for their Cardiff gig back in February, and I did not want to miss the opportunity to see their first headline tour. I had only seen them before twice as supports, and once at a small festival where only their EP, Big Fat Smile, had been released. And to be honest, it was so worth it.

This was the first time I had ever been to Koko in London, and I've gotta say, I was impressed. In the heart of Camden, it's obviously perfect for rock gigs. It's like an old theatre, with a main floor by the stage, and stairs up to several balconies for those who aren't too keen to get involved in the moshing. It's gotta be one of the best gig venues I've ever been to. Most gigs I go to are in dungy little places, which while have their own charecter, aren't quite as gorgeous as Koko, which has a real charm to it.
Unfortunately, we missed the first support, Decade, due to a slight blunder where I err, left the tickets in the hotel and had to rush back to our hotel in bayswater to get the tickets! Oops! Thankfully, we got back in time for second support, Pure Love. 

To be honest, I could of left after pure love and still felt like it was worth it. It was the best support act I've ever witnessed in my life. It just epitomised pure rock n roll. They held no punches. They took no shit. They rocked out! Frank Carter has constructed Pure Love and made it work in the most unimaginable way. I just wish I had listened to more of them before the gig. After their first song, Frank demanded the crowd form a large circle. He then jumped off the stage and in to the middle of the circle. He proceeded his set in the middle of the pit. It got better. He then climbed up on to a balcony in Koko. He was going to jump but security stopped him which sucked, but he still rocked out up there! After, he then did something even more epic and slight unimaginble. He got the drum kit to be carried in to the middle of the crowd. The drummer then, quite literally, became the centre of attention. As frank sang on stage the drummer drummed, and the crowd formed a circle pit around the drummer. The long haired guitarist then got in to the crowd and was carried around in a circle around the drummer! It was so sick, it reminded me of why I love live music and love rock music and everything it embody's. And the main act weren't even playing yet.

Frank Carter doing what he does best

After pure love had exited the stage, to say that they 'got the crowd going' would be an understatement. Not content with simply waiting patiently for Don Broco to come on, everyone started moshing and even crowd surfing to the background music playing. The crowd surfing seemed pretty pointless, especially when it was the same guy doing it over and over and over, until the crowd, so annoyed with him, began chanting 'kick him out! Kick him out!' And so they did.

After, Don Broco swiftly took to the stage, opening up with Priorities, followed by my fave song by the band, Whole Truth. The whole crowd went mental for the band, especially Bobby, whose got the voice, the looks, the dance moves, an amazing stage presence, and just the right level of ego. Enough to make girls swoon and guys want to be him, but not enough for him to come across as a massive dick. The entire set was a brilliant mix of songs from the Priorities album, and songs from their EP Big Fat Smile. It was great to hear some older songs I hadn't heard in a while, such as Dreamboy. They also played some of the lesser known songs off of their album such as Back in the Day, which was great. And of course, without a doubt, they played their old fans favourite Thug Workout, a song thats never actually been recorded in a studio, but always gets everyone moshing. Every band has a 'thing', Don Broco's is 'The Push Up Squad', something that appeals to Don Brocos fan base of guys who are lads yet simultaneously rockers. Bobby got the crowd to make room for a massive push up pyramid. It was definitely enjoyable, and hilarious, watching a bunch of blokes clamber on top of each other to then attempt to do a push up in-sync.

Don Broco finished the first part of their set with popular Actors, after coming back on stage for an amazing encore which consisted of Yeah Man (another song I was excited to hear live), Hold On, and Fancy Dress.

The Don Broco Boys

Overall, it was an amazing gig, with a brilliant atmosphere, a perfect venue, and a lively crowd.

Lower Than Atlantis Gig Review 16/04/2013

Last night I went to see Lower Than Atlantis perform in Solus, in Cardiff Student's Union. I was really excited because I love LTA and last time I saw them, in an old converted church in Bristol back in October, it was one of the best gigs I've ever been to. No exaggeration. So naturally, I expected big things.
Solus started off with about half the people there, but it filled out pretty quickly. First up was Blitz Kids. And lets just say it was a good job they were first support. They weren't brilliant, apart from the fact they had great comedy value. They didn't know this of course, it was more of a laughing at them rather than with them situation. Their problem came with the fact that they didn't know they were supporting. Or didn't appear to at least. They acted like they were who everyone was there to see. The lead singer had a massive ego, which in a lot of bands really works. But when no one knows you, it doesn't work at all. It works even less when you don't sound all that. Simon Neil gets away with an ego. Bobby from Don Broco gets away with an ego. So many lead singers of bands have huge egos. They get away with it because they are extremely talented. Blitz Kids weren't. The lead 'singer' couldn't really sing. They were cheesy in terms of their lyrics, their style of music had been done a million times before. They bored me to be honest. But it was ok, because next up was Dinosaur Pile-Up, who I had heard great things about...

... shame Dinosaur Pile-Up were just 'OK'. Like, I had heard them before, and I reckon they were one of those bands who simply sound better recorded than live. Despite Solus not being a massive venue, I feel that for them to really demonstrate their sound, they need a small venue. They were good, but I couldn't really distinguish one song from another. They were all a bit thrashy and the only song that offered anything different was their last song.
I guess the problem for me was I just reeeeally wanted to see LTA! So when they came on stage and everyone immediately started moshing, allowing me to barge to the front, I was happy. The atmosphere immediately picked up from the supports. Having said that, the atmosphere still wasn't the best. Maybe it was the people, maybe it was the venue, maybe it was the fact that half the people there didn't even seem to know why they were there or who LTA were, but the vibe just wasn't good. The crowd didn't get lively or mental, just a bit annoying. 
The other downer for me was the set itself. While they played most of the songs you would want to hear, the order was questionable. They played great tunes that they should have finished on like Another Sad Song and Deadliest Catch right in the middle of their set. They finished on Beech Like a Tree and did an encore of... gay bar. Thats right. Gay Bar. Anything else you say? no no, just that one song. They then left the stage. It left me feeling confused and disappointed, i expected so much more. They also didn't play enough old stuff, I would of liked to of heard I'm Not Bulimic I just Like to See How Far I Can Stick My Fingers Down My Throat, but no. 
I really don't think it helped that the crowd weren't very good. Even they knew. I can't see them coming back to Cardiff again anytime soon which is a shame. I think the reason their set was more dissapointing than last time was a massive mixture of the crowd, the venue, the order of the setlist, and the fact that to be honest, LTA have sold out. They don't have the same charm they had when they were signed to an Indy. Like seriously, who closes a set on Gay Bar???

Student Publication Association National Conference

So last weekend I went to Southampton for the first ever SPA National Conference!!
For anyone reading this from the U.K, who is part of a student publication, this is hugely exciting. Student Radio has a national body, Student T.V has a national body, it's about time that student newspapers and magazines had a national body too.
The conference took part in Southampton. It started on thursday night with karaoke, pizza and drinks. On friday we had workshops with some great speakers, before an awards ceremony on friday night. It was great to see so many people there who were passionate about writing for student publications, whether they were independent or affiliated with their student unions. Plus I learnt a lot. It made me feel really privileged to be so involved.
On the saturday the student body for next year was formed. SPA has only just begun but I can predict big things for it!
If you are reading this and you are a writer, editor, or involved in any other way, for a student newspaper or magazine in the U.K, then get involved with the SPA. It's hugely beneficial, and the conference was such a laugh. I can not wait for next years!

 Us Cardiff Bunch

At the awards ceremony with Keele

all of us on friday night!

I had my hair dyed and i love it!!

Today I got my hair dyed at BLEACH in topshop Oxford street in London, and absolutely adore it!
I bleached my hair a while ago and have tried to dye it lavender a couple of times, but because my hair was still quite a warm tone it was never overly successful. It would go nice, but a bit patchy!
At bleach the hairdresser (also called Beth!) decided to dye my hair a pinky purpley colour and I love it! I've never seen it so bright and vibrant. She used a 'super cool colour' which cost £55.
Unfortunately, it won't last very long, but when I can I will defo be going back to BLEACH!

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I've had pinterest for a couple of years now, but I never really used it properly, but now i've become obsessed!!
I love pinning travel, fitness, style and interior inspiration, as well as photography and quotes that I love!
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The new and exciting trend in hip-hop

This might surprise some readers, but I'm a massive fan of rap and hip-hop. Well, I enjoy all music genres really, but yeah, I love hip-hop, whether its the likes of Kanye West and Jay-Z's Watch the Throne, or old school Notorious B.I.G. I think this might surprise people because I'm a feminist, and lets face it, hip-hop is notorious as a genre filled with misogyny. This post isn't going to bang on about that, but the thing is, I don't see that as a contradiction. I think I can still actively be a feminist and listen to Nelly, and for me feminism is about being able to make that choice. More on that later.

Back to my main point... The thing is lately, there's been a massive change in hip-hops sound. Of course, the sounds Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, and Eminem create will (hopefully) still be relevant for years to come. But for the past couple of years a new sound has been developing in hip-hop. It started by bubbling under the surface, and now it's exploded, like a volcano. And it's likely the trend for new, alternative hip-hop will continue to grow from strength to strength. As someone who is always looking for new trends in the music world this is an exciting prospect for me. 

I think this trend can be best exemplified with (slightly extreme) example of hip-hop collective OFWGKTA (Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All), along with leader of the crews own solo work - Tyler, The Creator. With their aggressive, unapologetic lyrics, this group will take you down like a tornado diminishes all in its path. They've been around for a couple of years now, but they are definitely the best rap artists to illustrate hip-hops new trend, because they are the ones who can be quite clearly seen as doing it first, and doing it right... Doing it successfully. They're fan base is loyal and niche, yet vast at the same time, as both hardcore metal heads and 14 year old hipsters count themselves as fans. Just listen to Tyler, the Creator's Radical, or watch the video for Rella, and you'll see what I mean. Controversy is of the utmost importance. 

The Odd Future Gang.

One of the arguably most well known artists to come out of Odd Future is Frank Ocean, who produces mellow, relaxed works of art. His music sounds strangely urban and exotic all at the same time. Maybe that's his hometown of New Orleans influencing his sound. An American city, yes, yet also home to the fabulous, and the fantastical. The colours of carnival. Frank Oceans sound can also be heard in The Weeknd. A solo project which, despite having been producing music for years, is only now getting serious recognition by the likes of Radio 1. The Weeknd and Frank Ocean produce the kind of sounds people get high to. Plus with The Weeknd doing collabs with the likes of Drake, he’s only gonna get bigger, and better.

Frank Ocean

The Weeknd

These artists have all been around for a while now, but lately, yet more hip-hop artists are coming out of New York, L.A, and elsewhere, with a new and distinct sound. Take A$AP Rocky. His fast paced rap screams talent. In fact, I think it could be far enough to say A$AP is the NEW Odd Future (and as a massive OFWGKTA fan, I don’t say this lightly). All you have to do is listen to his awesome collaborative song with Skrillex, Wild For The Night, and you know A$AP is gonna go far.

A$AP Rocky

But now, to take you back to the beginning of this post, when I was chatting about how feminist I am. Because the main thing that’s most exciting to me in the hip-hop world is the rise of new, influential, fab, female rap artists. Obviously female rap artists have always been present, whether we’re talking about Lil’ Kim or Nicki Minaj. But the difference with these girls is they’re not female artists rapping in a male dominated world. They’re doing it in their own right. Ok so I’m a massive Nicki fan and I can’t deny that, but something magical has happened since. Something magical happened the day Azealia Banks posted her 212 video on Youtube.

Azealia Banks is totally demonstrative of the waves new Hip-Hop is making in the world of female rap. Her music is controversial AND empowering. What more could you want? The only problem with Azealia Banks, is on twitter, she can be a bit of a bitch towards her fellow female rappers. Yet I believe that gals gotta stick together, and some of the people she has bitched at are gonna go far.... Angel Haze, and Iggy Azalea are the two girls I’m thinking of specifically.

Angel Haze’s EP is one of the first EP’s I’ve ever given one listen to and then immediately bought. New York is a work of lyrical genius, but so is every other song on the EP, such as Supreme and Werkin’ Girls.Her music is truly real, with a no holding back attitude, she allows her troubled past of growing up in a religious cult to speak in her music.

Angel Haze

Azealia Banks bitched at A$AP Rocky's ex girlfriend Iggy Azalea most notably however, for slagging her off for being white. Apparently white girls ‘can’t rap’. Well just give Iggy a listen, because that’s clearly bullshit. She may be white, blonde, and Australian, but she’s incredibly talented. She gained a lot of notice with song Pu$$y and the video for it (because any song that repeatedly says pussy, especially when it’s from a female artist, is gonna get attention), but her real talent lies in songs such as My World, and Work, and Hello.

Iggy Azeala

So there you have it, the world of hip-hop is changing. It’s becoming more creative, more infused with different types of talent, more fearless, and more female friendly. It’s allowing more and more rap artists to create music and have a platform, and is allowing women to empower themselves lyrically in a way they never could before. And about time.